Wednesday, October 10, 2007

lets all go the speed limt

OK so I'm living in Texas for about a month now and feel like I need to vent my frustrations with the seemingly backwards drivers we have around these parts (as they say).

Like most things in life I've been able to group them into convienent groupings, which enables me to direct my rage in a much more organized fashion. So, were anyone else but me actually reading my diatribes, consider this an open letter to the following Texans:

"The Listless Blinker": There is no shortage of people here who drive for miles with their blinker on, hoping one day to change lanes. They tentatively swerve into their new found lane only to swerve back. Repeat this about 10 times until you pass them and flip them the bird.

"The uninspired large vehicle driver": This person needs to go at least 10 miles per hour below the speed limit in their oversized vehicle (of which there are many). Trust me. I'm not making this up. There was a Hummer on the way home from work today that was actually slowed to a stop at a green light. Where I grew up (New Jersey) any vehicle that drove below the speed limit that was not an ice cream truck with its bells on seriously risked getting shot at. Texans, speed the hell up.

"The (Drunk) Kamakazee": The polar opposite of the driver above, these vehicles barrel along at excessive speeds in all lanes and per Texas law must have a super-sized boat or trailer with two All Terrain Vehicles strapped to the towing hitch. Its hard to determine if the drivers are drunk or just stupid, so I can only assume its a little of both.

"The Wingman": Oddly, this is the one of the more common drivers here in Texas. These people insist on pulling up along side you in a multi-lane road and driving as if they are protecting your flank from enemy aggressors. While this technique works well in movies like Top Gun, its just annoying as hell on the road.

There you have it, Texas drivers. You need to step it up a bit before I get all New Jersey on you and put a cap in your ass.


Post a Comment

<< Home