Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A fresh tidbit

I thought I'd import the last post from my now defunct blog (below) and add this witty note to freshen it up and get this new blog started. Kind of like when the salad in the fridge is looking a little burly after six days of festering and you throw a ton of salad dressing on it in order to choke it down.

I really think this blog will turn out to be everything my last blog was supposed to be, an occasional outlet to muse to myself about myself about topics that only I can appreciate.

But, in all fairness I feel compelled to warn the unfortunate reader who has stumbled upon this tome about the five things I will not be covering in any of my blog entries (in order of increasing potential disappointment for you, the reader):

5. Weepy, emotional commentary on how I was picked on relentlessly as a kid. Instead I'll focus on providing wisecracks and comebacks I've learned as a result, as a public service for those of you who haven't yet figured out that a crow bar and curse words go a long way towards keeping people off your back.

4. Swooning blathering about the latest comings and goings of entertainment super stars and the television and motion picture masterpieces they devote their life to creating. Although I do reserve the right to draft a blog at a later date on my personal belief that there are three groups of people I'm not obligated to get tips about politics and home life from: hired help, actors/actresses and organ grinders. Not in that order.

3. Extensive discussions about my adorable daughters and the cute and whimsical things they do. Beacuse let's face it, if you have kids you already get your fill of 'whimsical' events before the Cheerios bowl is cleared off the breakfast table (assuming it hasn't been thrown on the floor) and if you don't have kids you most likely can't understand why the hell anyone would have them in the first place.

2. Advice on Pilates mini-excercises you can do in your spare time at work

And the number one topic that wont be covered as part of this blog:

1. Top ten (or five) lists. Because everyone knows those lists are just a cheesy literary trick used by hacks that can't string more than one entertaining morsel of thought together at a time.

Ah, its irony!


Post a Comment

<< Home